Episodes Re-made
by MadClover-chan
Summary: Some re-written episodes based on if Anthony Dinozzo and Seeley Booth were in a relationship. SLASH! Episodes complete: Man in the Fallout Shelter, SWAK
1. Man in the Fallout Shelter (Bones)

**Hey everybody, it's me again. So today as I was re-watching season one of Bones I had a random ass thought. It went something like this:**

**Man, Booth is so hot. Tony from NCIS is hot also. I wonder how hot they would be TOGETHER. MadClover I do believe you are onto something here. **

**So this is how Bones episode "The Man in the Fallout Shelter" would have gone down if Anthony Dinozzo and Seeley Booth were in a relationship. Most of the dialogue is verbatim from the episodes and some I have tweaked to fit my purposes. Some scenes are left out because I'm more focused on the slash aspect of it, so if you don't remember the episode you could get confused. So enjoy and I will probably re-write other episodes such as "SWAK" from NCIS and "The Woman in the Sand" from Bones. **

**Bones and NCIS do no belong to me, I am just messing with their characters :) **

* * *

"Booth, I swear to god if you don't show up soon Parker is going to start screaming and I will go postal," Tony Dinozzo was not impressed with his husband at the moment. Just as Seeley was supposed to come home from the office a call came in; a skeleton sealed in a fallout shelter.

"Dee, all I have to do is get Bones interested in the case, drop off the skeleton and I will be home to kiss Parker goodnight I promise," Seeley knew he was about twenty minutes from the doghouse and he better make this quick. So he spoke tried to calm his love so he wouldn't sleep on the couch tonight. Judging by the deep sigh he didn't think he was doing a very good job.

"I understand Seeley, I still don't like it but it's not like I can say that I've never missed a bed-time story. Well I love you, get home soon,"

"Love you more, see you soon," the FBI agent let out a deep breath as soon as he hung up, knowing he barely dodged that bullet. The Jeffersonian's glass doors opened and he quickly walked through. "Bones!" _Alright lets do this, and get home to cuddle on the couch with my family._

"Merry Christmas Seeley," Angela spoke, happy she finally got Brennan to agree to come to the party.

"Oh wow, what are you an elf?" Hey, he could still look, right?

"Yeah, what's wrong with a little Christmas spirit?" _absolutely nothing, _Seeley thought, _I'm pretty sure Tony said something like that when we played out that fantasy a couple days ago . . . _Seeley shook his head and smiled.

"What's the context?" Temperance interrupted thumbing through a folder.

As Booth spouted off some mumbo jumbo about government property Angela's mind began to wander. Until she heard the words skeleton and fallout shelter.

"How long was he in there?" She asked slightly intrigued.

"The shelter was build in the 50s part of that whole A-bomb panic,"

"It's not a suicide."

_Praise the lord, maybe I can get some sweets to ease Tony's wrath before I get home. _Booth played along, hoping to reel the anthropologist in further to seal the deal. "Why not? Hole in the head, you see the gun, it's a suicide,"

"He shoots himself in the head and somehow his arm ends up across his chest? Bring me the skeleton and I can prove it wasn't a suicide,"

"Merry Christmas Bones," _YES! Caught her hook line and sinker, _He whistled for the grunts, "come on boys bring it in," _Now to get out of here and shmooz up to Tony and maybe he will forgive me. _He packed his stuff quick and helped the grunts carry the body the rest of the way.

"Oh, no _we _are going to the company Christmas party," Angela was frantic, she had FINALY convinced Brennan to come at all!

"Well you go ahead, I'll do a cursory examination, and I'll meet you in a few minutes," The body was put on the table and the agents began to leave, "Booth, will you accompany Angela to the Christmas party and make sure she doesn't photo-copy her butt,"

_Crap, crap, crap I don't have time for this, _"Oh, no, no, no I can't you see I got some really last minute, important Christmas shopping that I have to do," He crossed his fingers hoping they would buy it.

"It's not last minute until tomorrow," Angela began to drag him out.

"Come on Bones, Bones!" Realizing he was not going to get help from his partner he gave in, _I am so fucked._

* * *

Booth feared he wasn't getting home for bed-time anytime soon when the doors of the lab sealed closed, and this was just confirming it.

"Valley Fever?" asked the administrator.

"It was picked up in the discharge vents at mister Addy's station," Santa Clause look-alike said on the screen.

"What is Valley Fever?" he had to ask, feeling slightly foolish.

"It's a fungus that can lead to pneumonia, meningitis, spontaneous abortion, death." _Oh my god it's the Plague incident all over again. At least he will understand why I have to be in here._

"The alarm sounded shortly after Mr. Addy cut into a human bone that must have been the source,"

"Was he conforming to autopsy protocol?" Asked the Santa.

"Of Corse, however,"

"I was . . .drinking an eggnog," Hodgins had the decency to look guilty about it at least.

Booth began to panic, hoping that this could all be cleared up soon and he could go home to his family, "Is he contagious?" He asked slowly hoping to regain control of his temper.

"Doctor Hodgins may have inhaled the spores yes." _Maybe there's a loophole here then_ thought Booth.

"Okay well it must suck to be Hodgins right now but the rest of us, we didn't inhale so it's okay that I go, right?" _Please. _

"Doctor Hodgins may have exhaled the spores all over us," Doctor Goodman seemed rather upset at that.

"We have no choice but to impose quarantine. Valley Fever can be fatal and we can't risk a pandemic"

_Yup I am totally fucked._

* * *

"What are those tiny little lights dancing on the ceiling?" Booth's thoughts were rather jumpy but he was aware enough to know he was talking without thinking. And that Goodman was giving him a technical explanation for the question that he was going to forget he asked in thirty seconds anyways.

"Wow, woah, haha they're beautiful." like way the Christmas lights shone off Tony's green eyes last night as they made love.

"You are stoned, agent Booth," the black man laughed a deep rumble and Seeley joined in.

"Oh, good. Lets hope it lasts long enough to keep this from being the worst Christmas of my life." _And keeps me from thinking about how I should be sleeping up against a warm body dreaming about Christmas day._

"What are you complaining about? I don't like to boast but I am the spirit of Christmas at my house. I have a wife and twin five year old daughters. We have family traditions. Most important of which is being together for Christmas." He handed a picture over and Booth admired the smiling faces.

"Wow, they're beautiful . . . You know, I have a kid too." Booth pulled out his wallet and the picture of Tony and their son, "His named Parker, he's four years old. His mother wouldn't marry me so at first my parental rights were . . ." He blew out a breath thinking of the huge custody battle to get Parker permanently.

"Vague?" Goodman offered, "He's a good looking boy,"

"Yeah, I got full custody of him and right now he is with Tony. They are probably made Christmas cookies today. I hope Tony isn't too mad at me," The part of his brain that was still on earth was telling him to shut his trap but the words spilled out anyways.

"It is good that you have friends who will help you out," Goodman sympathized.

"More than just a friend. He adopted Parker a couple years ago when we legalized our domestic partnership." _shit, shut up Booth! There is a reason you kept this all a secret._

"Oh . . . I must say . . . I was not expecting that," While the administrator looked gobsmacked that straight-as-an-arrow Seeley Booth was in a committed relationship with another man. He didn't seem uncomfortable about it. Which spurred Booth on to continue.

"He works for NCIS so it's hard for us both to get home for the holidays. Whenever we manage its always awesome, we go sledding with Parker and just be a family. But this year . . ."

"Yes, this year," They both were quiet as they thought on all the Christmas's past and of the plans they had made for this year.

"What are those little, lights on the ceiling?"

* * *

After leaving Temperance to think over his words of wisdom about God. Booth found a quiet corner of the lab to call his husband. They had had a quick conversation before that was cut short by the hazmat team with the drugs. As his cell phone rang he crossed his fingers that Tony was still awake and feeling better about the quarantine.

"Hey Seeley," Dinozzo's quiet voice sounded over the small speaker.

"Hey Tony. I wanted to talk to you before I got to sleep," Booth spoke just as soft. Hoping that Parker was already sleeping.

"Okay, let me put Parker to bed and I was just going to lay down soon anyways," There was shuffling on the other end of the line and then silence for a few seconds, "How are you feeling? I know how boring quarantine can be. Or are you enjoying you drugs? I know you are a lightweight," Booth could hear the smile in his husbands voice.

"Well I was definitely enjoy my drugs earlier. I let slip about you and Parker to Goodman but he seemed pretty cool about it," Seeley knew he had to tell otherwise he would be in even more trouble later.

"You know, I should be mad at you for not being home and I should be mad at you for slipping but I really don't care right now," Tony sighed and wished that the bed didn't feel so alone without Booth there, "I just want you to be okay and I want to hold you."

The sadness in Tony's voice made the FBI agent's heart ache, "Hey, we don't even know if I'm sick yet. And if you can survive the Plague then no way is a little Christmas lung fungus gonna keep me down," a small laugh was heard from the NCIS agent and then they both quieted down. Just listening to each other breath. Finally Tony spoke.

"You should get some sleep. I'm going to call tomorrow and see about the visits they are planning. I love you, Seeley Booth,"

"I love you too Anthony Dinozzo." And they hung up, both thinking about tomorrow's visit.

* * *

"I can understand why you would be sensitive Booth you have a child out of wedlock,"

Booth knew that Brennan didn't know the whole story but it still stung to know that, while he and Tony could be Domestic Partners, same-sex marriage was still illegal in most states. Seeley was thinking on the parallels that this case had to his own life. All Leonel and Ivy wanted was a life free to marry the person they love, exactly what he and Tony wished for.

"Visiting hours, folks," an hour later Booth stood in front of the thick glass that separated him from being with his family. Until finally Tony walked through the hall Parker in his arms, both smiling at him. Tony clipped the earpiece onto their son and smiled as Parker grinned at Seeley.

"Hi daddy," Parker spoke, "papa said that you have to stay here and get better before you can come home for Christmas," Booth smiled sadly and laid his palm against the glass where the boy's small hand also rested.

"Yeah, but you know what, when I get better we are gonna have the best Christmas ever. We'll do anything and everything you want all day long," Parker perked up at that and grinned, "But in the meantime how about you tell daddy what you and papa did today."

And that is what he did, the small blonde told his father about the shopping and going to see Santa in the mall. He told him about going to the park and building a snowman and all the new friends he made. After about twenty minutes Parker finally ran out of steam and began to droop, so Tony took the earpiece and smiled.

"How have you been Seeley?" Tony asked. Holding his hand up to the glass and wishing nothing separated them.

"Wanting to throttle Hodgins for being such an idiot and wishing to be with you right now,"

"Well I must say that if this is what it felt like when I got the Plague then I apologize for putting you through this agony," Tony sighed. They spoke for a while longer, making plans for when Booth got home and the new years eve party.

"I suppose that we should go now, there are other people waiting. I love you Seeley," Tony said, sad that they had to go.

"I love you too Anthony," Booth replied and watched as Tony walked out of the Jeffersonian, Parker asleep on his shoulder.

* * *

"And that weirdo assistant of your just made me the coolest dad, in the world,"

"Daddy, daddy!" Parker ran towards Temperance and Booth just in time to be scooped up by his father and kissed on the cheek. Tony following behind at a slower pace.

"Hey look, look at this thing," Seeley said showing his son the robot Zach had made, "how cool? it can flip, trip, swim, whatever you want," Tony walked up beside them and leaned in for a kiss.

It was soft and sweet and reminded both of them how much they loved each other. The Parker giggled and they broke away. Tony looked over to see Brennan with a questioning look on her face. He walked over and sat beside her.

"You must be Bones, Booth talks about you a lot," Tony mentioned holding out his hand to shake.

"Yes, but I don't know who you are. Judging by the kiss you must at least be his boyfriend," she stated bluntly watching Parker and Booth play with the robot.

"We got a domestic partnership a few years back. I hope you knowing this won't change your working relationship with him, he really enjoys hanging out with all you squints,"

"Why would it? I don't care who he is in a relationship with," she was puzzled at the thought that Booth being in love with a man could change anything. Tony chuckled and shook his head.

"I wish all people thought like that," He smiled at her, "Merry Christmas Temperance,"

He turned towards his boys and grinned, taking Booth's free hand as they walked out. Parker looked over his father's shoulder at Brennan, said, "Merry Christmas" and waved.

* * *

**So? Whatcha think? I hope you liked it, no promises when I'm going to expand this. Have a very Merry Christmas! **


	2. SWAK (NCIS)

**AN~ HEY GUYS! So sorry that it took so long to post this, I promise I'm not dead, I just finished editing this because no matter how much I fixed it still didn't feel right, but now it is done and I want this off of my mind so I can go on to different episodes. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or NCIS, any characters and dialogue from the show is rights of the companies that make them. **

**ENJOY!**

* * *

"Boss, you know you have to call him, right?" Tony watched his boss pace autopsy like a caged lion. When he didn't reply he continued, "Parker will be suspicious when I don't come home tonight for bed-time story." Kate and McGee looked at the italian curiously as Ducky and Palmer got ready to draw their blood.

"Damn it Dinozzo, don't you think about skipping out. Your son, your spouse, your phone call," Gibbs snarled at his Senior field agent. Kate's eyes bugged out and McGee looked seconds from fainting.

"Come on boss, you know that in like three minutes those Bethesda goons are going to quarantine me and I won't be able to take any calls."

"Then you better hurry up," that was enough to know he wasn't getting out of this one. Grumbling he walked over to the phone on Ducky's work desk.

"Woah, woah, Seeley? Parker? Who are they?" agent Todd finally spoke up.

Tony looked over his shoulder at her as he dialed, "My son and my husband," Timothy passed out with a thunk and Kate gaped.

"Oh dear," Ducky exclaimed as Gibbs began to haul McGee onto one of the tables, "Anthony couldn't you have done that a bit more tactfully? The poor boy will have quite the goose-egg when he wakes," Tony shrugged as he listened for Seeley to pick up. And ignored the conversation between his boss and kate.

"Yeah, Booth," the FBI agent was thankful for the distraction from paper work, he hadn't gotten a body in a while and was on desk dusty.

"Hey Seeley, it's Tony, I might not make it home tonight," the green eyed man cringed when he heard a deep breath from the other end.

"Anthony Dinozzo, I thought you already spoke to Gibbs about how important it is to get home on time! I swear if he tries to make you stay late I will have a little chat-"

"NO!" Tony interrupted, the whole room going quiet, "listen, I . . . I opened a letter today,"

". . . No, no, Tony, god no please don't say what I think your going to say,"

"There was a fine white powder inside," Booth took a deep breath to calm himself, "We don't know what it is and I might have inhaled some of it. I'll be at Bethesda until they clear me. I won't be able to call once I'm at Bathesda. Gibbs will keep you posted," Tony wished he hadn't opened that damn letter. He heard his husband let out a breath.

"Okay Tony. I'll see if I can get home early today, I need to be with Parker right now. I _will _see you again. I love you." Booth closed his eyes. Considering how he could get a half day from his boss.

"I love you too Seeley," Tony hung up, then stood there until he realized that autopsy was completely silent.

As Tony spoke to his husband, Kate began to interrogate Gibbs. "Why did you never tell us that he had a _family_!" she spoke in a harsh whisper, "You would think that would be kind of important."

Gibbs looked over to her, "Would that really have mattered? All he did was make you look like a fool, is that what you are bent out of shape about?" He scowled at her and began to pace again. As she opened her mouth to rebut Ducky decided to step in.

"Dear Caitlin, Anthony chases terrorists with us. I'm sure you can imagine why he has kept his personal life hidden. Family can be used as very efficient leverage," he looked scoldingly at Kate. She spluttered for a few minutes before finally beginning to understand.

Timothy waved his hand in front of his face to push away the smelling salts and scrunched up his nose, "Ohh, my head hurts. What just happened?" he groaned.

"Tony is on the phone with his husband and we are waiting for Bethesda doctors to get here," Gibbs deadpanned just before Tony burst out,

"NO!" they all quieted as Tony finished talking to Booth and hung up.

He turned around and saw everyone's eyes on him and began by addressing Gibbs, "He will be calling for updates Boss. I'll bet Parker will want to talk to his favorite grandpa later also," everyone turned to Gibbs in time to see a tiny smile flit across his face. Tony walked over and jumped onto the table Timothy had vacated and Gibbs looked over to him as Ducky drew the boss' blood.

"You should have given the letter to me,McGee," he declared.

"I know boss,"

"It's not McGee's fault, Tony _snatched_ it out of his hand," Kate accused.

"So now it's my bad? Who's the one not going home to his kid tonight?"

"You did grab it Tony," McGee stated.

"Lame excuse Probie you should have stopped me," Tony teased.

As Gibbs tried to walk out Donald intercepted him, "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"Find out who sent the letter,"

"Ah, ah, ah you cannot leave autopsy it's negative pressure. So airborne pathogens can't contaminate the rest of the building."

"Ducky I have been scrubbed, sanitized for all I know sterilized. I have an investigation to open, so I can get that bonehead," he pointed at Dinozzo, "home, hopefully before Parker finds out that his _papa _might not come home at all,"

"And I have a possible contagion to contain. You know I care for that little boy as much as you but until your blood test clears you I cannot permit you to leave this room,"

* * *

"Goodbye nurse Emma," Kate looked at her partner, her gay partner, her gay partner who flirted with everything in a skirt. She still couldn't quite wrap her head around it.

"How do you do it?" she asked.

"I've been hiding my sexuality my whole life, it wasn't that hard to fool you, who immediately had me pegged for an idiot skirt-chaser . And before you ask; Booth and I have a deal, we can flirt and tease all we want but if ether of us cheats, castration will be immediate. Must say it's a damn good incentive to keep it in my pants," Tony replied watching Kate for any signs of disgust, he couldn't detect any.

Kate was quiet a while, thinking this over. And finally she reached a conclusion, "Tell me about him,"

Tony was startled that she accepted everything so quickly, "My, my you wouldn't be a yaoi fangirl would you? Good Catholic girl trying to look in on a little guy on guy action, cause I know some good films, you know Brokeback Mountain right? Starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal," He leered at her, "I'm sure with enough pushing Seeley might even let you watch us sometime," Kate laughed at him.

"In your dreams Tony," she monotoned, "But I am curious as to who would put up with you for a year and still wants to stay," she smirked.

"Well, Parker's three, before I met Booth he was in a relationship with a lady named Rebecca. She got pregnant and tried to run away after she had him pay all the medical expenses. When he took her to court she signed away all parental rights. Then we got together and I legally adopted him when we got our domestic partnership legalized last year . . . That's pretty much the important bits,"

They were both quiet for a while. Laying on the beds staring up at the blue lamps above the bed.

"Oh and he's a feeb," Kate laughed.

* * *

"Precisely, how do you know these lamps aren't there to make us think their helping," Tony looked toward Kate.

"Maybe, because their there, to kill, whatever bugs _we_ breath into the air," Kate flopped onto her side so she didn't have to look at her partner. Not even an hour into isolation and she already wanted to kill him.

"You may have a point," Tony conceded.

"You're afraid aren't you," she said.

"Ha, Kate come on, me afraid? Have you ever seen me afraid?"

"Well not when the danger is something we can confront," Tony sat up to watch her, "But all we can do here, is lie around. And hope that we're not infected,"

"Now who's afraid?"

"Anyone with half a brain . . . ha, I take that back, you're not afraid," she rolled over again and snuggled into her pillow. Tony laid back down again, a couple minutes later he spoke.

"You're right Kate, I'm not afraid . . . I'm scared shitless. Just this morning I hugged my little boy goodbye and put him on a bus to preschool. And now I might not ever get to tell him how proud I am of him. Just this morning I kissed my husband as he rushed off to work. And now I might not ever hold him in my arms again . . . And that does make me feel very afraid," the only answer he got was the feeling of Nurse Emma's eyes on him and Kate's soft snoring.

* * *

Tony doesn't remember much after Brad told him he had the Plague. It was mostly a constant stream of memories. Of Parker and Seeley, of ice cream shared in the park, and a certain trip to the Smithsonian as a family. He remembers thinking _I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough Seeley, I'm sorry I couldn't watch you grow up more Parker. I'm sorry, I love you._

* * *

"Tony, listen to me . . . You listening?"

"Ahm, hm, listen . . . I'm listening, boss,"

"You will not die. You got that?" *light head-slap* "I said. You. Will not. Die."

" . . . I got you boss,"

*Smile* "Good, Parker wanted to know when he can visit his papa,"

* * *

A few weeks later around lunch visiting hours Tim and Kate stood in the doorway to Tony's hospital room, watching his labored breathing. He had been transferred out of the negative pressure room after three days of slow healing. Tony was asleep most of the time, his body trying to fix his lungs.

"Listen Probies, I know you were concerned about me but standing in the doorway isn't going to help me get better." They both looked down bashfully, "get in here and tell me about how worried -" a coughing fit hit Tony at that moment and they both rushed forward to help him sit up.

"Tony, why the hell do you do this?" Kate accused, "It's always you doing stupid shit and almost dying then acting all tough," Timothy nodded to her words, "It ridiculous," another nod, "and if you don't stop eventually you're gonna get killed."

"Don't both with that agent Todd." A dark haired male stood in the doorway with a little boy dozing on his shoulder, "I have threatened him more than you ever can and he still wont stay out of trouble," Tony grinned and held out his hands. The man walked over and deposited the sleeping child into his arms, "He was napping in the car. he has been up since five this morning wanting to come see you."

"Of course, who wouldn't want to see their _favorite_ papa?" Tony smirked. "Probie, Kate this is Seeley Booth, FBI, and our son Parker," Seeley smiled and shook their hands.

"It's great to finally meet you. Tony won't shut up about the computer McGeek and Caitlin the only woman agent who actually banters with him," Tony tried to shush him as both junior agents smirked at him.

Parker began to shift and mumbled something sounding suspiciously like 'mamma'. Lifting his head finally, and blinking away the sleep, he spotted Tony.

"MAMMA!" He screamed and squished his face against the man's chest, causing him to start coughing. Timothy and Kate were torn between laughing at what the boy said and trying to help Tony calm his breathing again.

Once Tony could talk he pulled Parker's face up to look him in the eye, "Hey buddy, I thought we were done with the whole 'mamma' routine," Parker shook his head vigorously, "Why don't you call me papa?" the boy averted his eyes and tried to hide his face.

After a few minutes he spoke again, "Because papa is what some kids call their daddies. And daddy is already daddy so you have to be mamma,"

Seeley grinned at his husband while Timothy and Kate tried to stifle their laughter, "I don't know why you struggle Tony. He is not going to relent no matter how much you try to change it," the laughter got a little bit louder.

Tony sighed, "Well, at least I got _Gibbs_ to stop calling me Parker's mamma," belly shaking laugher of two junior NCIS agents could be heard throughout the ward.

* * *

**AN~ YAY DONE! I hope you liked it, please review? *puppy dog eyes* **

**Just a side note, if Booth seems kinda ass-hole-ish, it's because I wrote him that way, if you look at the years the shows came out, during this episode of NCIS, Bones hadn't aired yet and so Booth was still having gambling problems and him and Temperance hate ****each other (watch the 100th episode if you don't know that back story). **

**Any episodes you would like to see me re-make, please leave a review and tell me the name or what happens in the episode and I will see what my plot bunnies have to say! I have seasons 1-9 of NCIS and seasons 1-6 of bones so those are the available episodes I can remake. Also I have been considering writing how Tony and Seeley got together in the first place but I have three ideas for how it could happen but I haven't decided which way, if you would like to tell me what YOU think should happen that would be much appreciated.**

**Next episodes I'll re-make will probably be during the whole Howard Epps catastrophe or "Woman in the Sand" (the Las Vegas fight club one) . . . Haven't decided yet. **

**Well please review! Tell me what I can improve on and send in requests and ideas. THANK YOU!**


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